Aye Dios Mio.
You always know because if they have, they’ll mention it in their own way. Men remember Latina women for either the good or bad…but they remember her.
So whether you date a Shakira Shakira or Sonia Sotomayor, chances are one… or some… of these stereotypes have been fulfilled in your relationship.
EDIT: Since this post has received so much commentary, I’d like to remind you that I am Latina, I speak sarcasm, and I’m on Instagram (shameless self-promotion).
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May the sassiness continue: things that happen when you date a Latina – Latina stereotypes revealed:
1. You’re never going to be hungry.
Eating is often an entire experience. Cooking is a gift from us to you, so don’t you dare turn down that meal from abuelita.
2. She is inevitably hyper-sexualized.
If you’re the jealous type and want to date a Latina woman, you better grow some confidence and develop trust in each other.
You can’t control how much she will be checked out, hit on, and praised with unsolicited attention.
Mostly because if you’re around Latin culture, Latin men actively show their affection. And if you’re outside of a Latino community, she will be fetishized for being exotic.
Latina women just want to be appreciated for anything other than how much you want to sleep with them. Studies at Columbia University show that Latinos are mostly casted for hyper-sexualized television roles because well… that’s how society sees us.
Don’t get me wrong, we fully perpetuate the stereotype for three reasons:
Firstly, the older generations of Latina women had little agency, so they truly had to hurry up and get married. Their beauty was the only thing going for them, so they embraced it. Certain cultural habits of loving your body are then tripled down throughout the generations.
Secondly, the younger Latinas who do have more agency and are equal human beings in society have been socially raised to be put together. I literally was wearing high heels before I could walk (Mary Janes, thank you). What’s our norm may not be yours, but we choose to express ourselves through fashion, dance, and mediums which may be seen by others as “sexy.”
My mother’s friend, a pastor, told me yesterday that a feminist condemned her for wearing high heels and dresses for “her man” (obviously, we aren’t talkin’ about a freakum-dress here, she’s modest and still fierce).
Yami answered with a “I don’t dress for men’s attention, I dress for myself.”
Third, we can’t help who we are. We’re sexy and we love it.
We just don’t want you to think that it’s the only thing we have to offer.
3. On that note, people will assume she’s not educated or skilled.
According to the National Center for Public Policy and Higher Education, Latinas have less educational and vocational opportunities than any other racial group in the USA.
This means that when people look at your sexy Latin lover and think she’s only good for “that,” it isn’t just because of Modern Family and Desperate Housewives. There are real-life obstacles for Latina women to develop their careers and ambitions.
Cultural limitations include getting married too young, having children out of wedlock, and having parents that don’t want them to leave their hometown. There are so many other socio-economic obstacles that must be over-come by Latina women.
To be clear, in 2015, plenty of Latina-Americans are empowered with opportunities and success.
But take it from the girl who went to UCLA and would always be told “yeah, but you don’t count as Mexican” [because of my financial status and education], that people perceive Latinos to be professionally challenged.
Celebrating success might be particularly important to her if she has beat the odds. As her partner, she might need you to show her that you don’t take her hard work and talent for granted.
You can bet she’ll do the same for you.
4. She’s likely to be coqueta and incredibly passionate.
Whatever her hobbies are, whatever her career is, and her love for you will burn fiercely. Don’t take it personally, she loves everyone that hard. Well, she’s pretty picky with who she actually loves, but once you’re “in,” you’re “in.”
To be “coqueta” means that she is likely playful, kind, and like-able. There is the tiniest sense of cockiness implied with this behavior, but it is undoubtedly confidence, not thinking she is better than anyone else.
Latina women are notoriously social creatures. I say creatures because it’s almost an animalistic instinct to share the charm. You walk into a Latino family party and you’re sure to get a dozen hugs and kisses on the cheek. We love to love our friends.
Don’t mistake her friendliness for flintiness.
Culturally, we are less likely to be casually promiscuous, so the chances of cheating are statistically lower. Okay, not an actual statistic. However, in Latina culture women are less likely to be intimate outside of a relationship.
5. She wants to show you off.
I’m an exception to this as I’ve become a bit more private with my already very public lifestyle. However, most Latina women want pictures with their bae, their best friend, their cousins, and their dog.
Correlated to how hard we love and to our confidence, Latina women like to show the world how wonderful you are. This is very different to say, Scandinavian or Australian culture, where it would seem too showy. In Latino culture, it’s just celebrating. We’re always looking for an excuse to have a party so we can feed you.
Thanks mom. That’s you.
6. She will fight and suffer with you.
Remember that loving hard part? They hurt hard too. Studies show that Latina women actually get physically ill when they are emotionally concerned for a loved one. I can’t seem to find the cases for it, but I learned this in a course at UCLA and I never forgot it because I was wide-eyed with this epiphany. It’s true and I hadn’t thought about it until my professor said it.
It actually becomes common practice for Latina women to come together seeking group love and support. It’s also a tendency not to tell the older women in the family a problem to avoid scaring them into bad health.
7. She knows how to listen, but she knows when to speak up.
Being honest, bold, and candid are characteristics of Latina women. Click To Tweet
Culturally, many of us in heterosexual relationships haven’t let go of traditional practices. The opening of doors, letting women go first, and men walking on the outside of the sidewalk are all old-school practices in courtship. I like them.
Latina women need to feel needed, so they subconsciously let a man feel needed.
From an outsider’s perspective, this might look backwards, but there is one reason this isn’t so:
Latina women speak up. They want to communicate (in case you couldn’t tell with all my writing and expressing myself through fashion and dance HAHA). Anyways, this need empowers our relationships. We address the things that really matter. Those who talk together, work together, and make decisions together have a partnership … which is the real peak in #relationshipgoals.
8. She has to learn balance and discipline.
When you're that passionate about everything, it'll make you or break you.Click To TweetTravel has allowed me to understand my culture and my own identity.
By experiencing the world and removing myself from my norms, I am able to distinguish what I do and don’t like about my culture and why I act or feel a certain way about ideas, actions, and life.
Travel isn’t the only way to achieve this.
However, with any culture, if you can wrap an understanding around how we are all different and can choose to reshape ourselves despite our norms, you’re going to be more mature and rounded than someone who doesn’t have this privilege.
Good thing that Latinas are great learners :) And great cooks, let’s keep that part up for sure!
9. She’s used to being taken care of, and she’s used to taking care of people.
It all runs back to the passion and hard-loving. We enjoy catering to our family, friends, and partner.
But we also love to be taken care of. If you take care of your Latina woman, she’s going to make sure that no one can take care of you like she does. She will love you immensely, passionately, and actively.
10. People will get a kick out of guessing her ethnicity.
I’m not kidding. I’ve had entire rooms of people guessing my racial roots as a game multiple times.
There might just be some novelty in culture.
Original Photo of me @StephBeTravel by @Witness_X on Instagram
More Reads on Culture:
Why I Waited to Discuss a Part of My Identity Online
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10 Brilliant Photos of Cozumel Beach: Cancun’s Caribbean Cousin
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10 Reasons for a Punta Cana Beach Wedding (Photos)
This is a gross article that reduces Latina women and people to stereotypes. Latinas must be taught “balance and discipline?” Keep your weird fetishes and sexual colonialism to yourself please. I feel sorry for any Latina who would date you- you clearly don’t even see them as full human beings.
Hi Aamir,
I am always open to criticism on an article, however, if you’re going to hold such a strong opinion — you should read the full article. I’m a Latina woman, not a person dating Latina women. You’re saying that I don’t see myself as a human being and that you feel sorry for any Latina that would date me proves that you didn’t read the entire article, my personal story or my blog post addressing identity — how stereotypes are and are not fulfilled. I agree that the line “Latina must be taught balance and discipline” to that we as people all need to learn balance and discipline. Not to mention I start the article by mentioning that this does not apply to all Latina women. Please be more thorough before jumping to conclusions or making accusations when read through content.
Omg. You told him. Honestly before I read your reply I thought to myself, they weren’t really stereotypes so much as the truth.
Hahahaha I wouldn’t say that all stereotypes are true, but there is some truth in some of them.
I am an indian , and seeing your article makes me think that latin people are much more earthly , much more connected to the soil , also , howcome latin men and women ( especially) are the most attractive in the world on an average?
She is a Latina. wow…
You are a complete idiot….the article was written by a latina…..reading is fundamental
This was written by a Latina, did you even read the article? Get TFOH, with that Simp BS. It really is a shame when you can’t even Express your feelings without worrying about the perpetually offended!
I have been dating a Latina for a year. It may seem weird that I ended up on this article, but I have been extremely interested in the Latino culture. All of these, through each of my experiences, particularly with my current girlfriend, are extremely true. These are not stereotypes, these are just plain truth, and I would like to commend you for the creation of this article…
Que pendejo eres. She is a Latina…not dating a Latino. Sounds like you’re Woke and I can tell you this, Latinas don’t like Soy Boys because those fake men can’t handle a real woman so go back to your feminists.
My wife is an old fashioned Mexican woman and the author is spot on. Of course there are exceptions but from experience I can tell you this
1. Being a wife.and mother is the most important thing to my wife.
2. A traditional latina is very loyal to her man and takes marital vows very serious.
3. My wife may not have a degree but she is a child care expert and is doing what she can to become more involved in education just to be with our son.
4. Although my wife is submissive, her latina temper terrifies me. Also, she runs the show.
Unlike a feminist, a latina knows how to control her man and it doesn’t become a war of the sexes.
5. My god can she cook..but usually she overdoes it. But she wants to make sure I am taken care. With a wife like that, why woukd I betray her?
I thought her article was even handed and fair. It pointed out cultural differences that are absolutely true but also said there are exceptions. Nobody needs your “woke” accusations of racism. She is trying to build bridges. You are trying to destroy them.
They pose as faithful too, but the ones I’ve dealt with are cheating strumpets.
Wow…what an L. Amazing. Lol and from experience, while everyone is an individual a lot of these stereotypes are stereotypes for a reason. And some of us…really….realllly like those qualities. It’s not reduction of anyone, it’s simple observation of a culture (and subcultures if you want to dive further). But to sum it up IN GENERAL if I had to, gonna date a latina, be ready to LIVE at 100% because that’s what she’s gonna do and want out of someone she’s with. If you aren’t all in, let’s say just in it for the beauty but not the passion – either its gonna go no where fast or its not gonna end pretty.
U are a very beautiful woman and I hope that u go far in life. Enjoy traveling the world and do what u love. Don’t let @#s holes like Gregor ever get u down
Thank you! Happy travels.
We need more of these beautiful Latina women in Ireland😍
Hahaha! Ireland is BEAUTIFUL country and I encourage all Latina women and all people from every culture to experience it!
Especially helps that the laddies are Catholic.
Regardless I wanna visit Ireland.
And thank you Irish for the San Patricios!
Well, I like your article! You sold me on Latinas!
I believe your assessment of Latin women can be applied to women of all cultures. I am of West Indian lineage, and have found these attributes are present in women Who I have dated of many different cultures.
She pretty much hit the nail on the head as far as dating Latina women. I don’t know what that other guy is talking about but one thing you should know is almost all Latina women won’t put up with a cheater. They will always find someone better.
Great article Stephanie Be!!!!! Number 1 & 2 are important!
You forgot: If you want another date, you’re going to learn how to pronounce our names right or at least don’t pronounce them like a gringo. It was the last one for me. I always wondered why this much younger coworker used to pronounce my name “Grah-tsee-ELLLLLL-la”. I put up with it because at least he didn’t say “Grass-ee-elluh”
We had to stop at my home to pick up something before we went to a conference and a dinner. While he was waiting for me, my mother offered him something to eat. I cringed, but instead, out of his mouth coame this lilting, charming reply with a zeta and some funny words. Mama understood and brought him a little bit and a cup of coffee. I looked at him and asked him why he never told me he could speak Spanish. He told me he couldn’t but he spoke Italian, so he could figure out Spanish. I figured out where the funny words came from, he was trying to make Spanish words out of Italian words. I understood why he pronounced my name like he did. I let him get away with pronouncing everyone;s names with an Italian accent. At least it’s not gringo. He’s now my boyfriend.
“At least he’s not gringo” How do you expect to be respected by everyone if you show pregidice to other people. Sure there are other people all around the world who are assholes. You find them in every culture. I’m white but I have never in my entire life been predijice towards anyone. I always have judged people by their “actiond” not their skin color, teligion or culture. Please grow up
Love this my you can say stereo type all you want but my loving wife fits all these bills. Kind loving and a short temper. Some grew up hard so she grew up tough . I love that she holds on to her heritage . there’s nothing wrong with a strong minded woman that )moves works cleans and loves again after all your faults
Thanks for your wisdom as I am an American male who seeks a beautiful Latina bride, and I really needed some great advice. God bless you much!
I found this to be 💯💯💯💯 spot on. Even with the things I am or I’m not… I know these stereotypes to be true. That’s from a 100% Latina.
Good affirmation to what I pretty much already know. Been married to a Tica for almost a year. and dating for 3.
Thanks for reading!
My wife and I read your article and found it to be spot on. I am Black and she is Latina. We laughed at everything being true especially when describing the inner personality of my lovely wife. I am so in love with her. Viva Latinas Forever!
Thanks for reading!
I’d consider marriage with a Latina if it weren’t for the Spanish language sounding so irritating? Latina women are so often beautiful and good, but their language makes me cringe like hearing fingernails scraping down along a school blackboard!
Hi Jesse,
I’m sorry you feel that way about the Spanish language. I love it, but I’m biased because I speak it. Many languages can sound harsh, I think it depends on the person and what they’re saying though.
Since when did Spanish sound “irritating”? It might sound that way when I speak it, as I speak it with a French accent, but when native speakers speak it, I like the sound of it. I had a GF from Spain when I lived in Belgium. She made fun of how I spoke Spanish and the Belgians and French made fun of my Cajun French (mother from LaFayette, Louisiana–she taught it to me). I couldn’t win.
Your response to that (horrible) comment seems to ignore the fact that not all latinx are Spanish speaking. Why do Hispanics love to ignore the existence of non-Spanish speaking latinas? Or black latinas? The constant erasure of afro-Latinos and those of us who don’t come from Spanish speaking countries in these articles is horrendous.
Hi Paulie,
No, not all Latinas are Spanish-speaking. No not all Latinas look like me (my best friend and former roommate is a Dominican Afro Latina). I won’t take reasonability for “these articles” because I’ve written only one (playful) article about being Latina where I specifically open on how not everyone is the same. You might like my article about labels and identity… where I specifically talk about the white privilege I experience as a Latina and how identities are complex. I suggest spending more time looking through a personal blog before leaving harsh, accusing comments.
Latinos and Latinas is actually a broad word.
Mexicans, Puerto Ricans, French, Italians, Brazilians, Spaniards, Belgians, French Canadians, Portuguese, Filipinos, Columbians, Argentianians, Haitians, Dominicans, Romainians, Chileans, Peruvians and other South and Central Americans are Latins because the language is rooted in Latin.
Right to the feelings… don’t mess w my language! Lol
I love Irish guys! I’m game 😁
I am dating a columbian from columbian and this all helps me make sense of things. I’m an American marine so I’m pretty sure I have what she is looking for, I have never met someone more loyal than her. They should put a number 11 down that her fiery love is just as dangerous as her fiery anger because she is pissed right now and she won’t reply, although I do have a question if she said that she wants to have my children and that I’m the one she wants to marry, does that mean I’m in??
Hi, thanks for reading! I can’t really speak on personal relationships. I’d give it some air, talk to her directly, and get some advice from someone who knows you both. Best of luck!
It is ColOmbia! X.X
Thank you Stephanie for a very informative article. I wish I had met a Latina woman when I was younger. We need more Latina women in Australia. :-)
Yes! I lived in Australia, and I was always the only Latina! It’s great to cross cultures and I wish you all the best.
I approve and agree with most of your article.
Don’t get how someone can find offense. The only reason I say most, is that I recognized myself in every point except #1. I can’t cook for $@$&. Keep writing and represting is so well.
Thanks Lillian! Cooking isn’t for everyone, and I’m sure not everyone gets that every point isn’t for every single Latina. Thanks for reading. Enjoy
I wish more older single latinas were available to date (possibly marry) in Indianapolis Indiana!!!❤❤❤
I’m in no way offended by this. I’m Mexican and this rings true to my very bones. Though I can’t cook for shit. Everything else is spot on. Wow
Nice Article!!
Have Met a Younger . Attractive . Intelligent . Puerto Rican woman / Hartford Connecticut who I now hold a deep interest in . And can only hope for the best in the near future this young lady being Puerto Rican has many good qualities that I don’t see in other cultures great article very informative
Good luck!
Latina women are the most unfaithful women I’ve ever been with
That sucks. I’m sorry to hear you’ve had such terrible experiences. I actually don’t know a single Latina who has cheated (and I know a lot of them). But I do know a lot of women and men who cheat and it’s terrible. Wishing you a happier next-relationship!
Interesting read. I’m married to a Latina born and raised and oddly enough most of this isn’t true about her.
Everyone is different! Not to mention, Latina is such an ambiguous term. Everything from countries of origin, to social class, to where raised, to education, to non-sociological factors like being who you are and liking what you like impacts who we are.
I like your article and I’m a Latina : )
However people online are so triggered by everything that the comments are making me laugh 😂
Hello I just started “dating” a Latina who lives in Colombia. We haven’t actually met yet but have Skyped and text a lot. I’m falling in love with her. I can tell from talking to her that most of this is true so far. This is what attracted me to find a love of Latina heritage. I love their passion and fire for life. I hope to spend the rest of my life with her. Thanks for the article it’s given me perspective on why she says the things she does. She is very affectionate and at first I thought she was pretending to get money from me. Now I know she’ not cause she hasn’t asked for any.
I am dating a Mexican girl, and she is giving me hell, she’s not loyal and by that i mean she sends her nudes to other guys, she always has secrets, i am never involved in anything in her life i just hear i am busy, she doesn’t have a plan for nothing so i really think that she just wants to be with me for visa because i am from Europe, blocking and unblocking me several times a day, not answering anything or giving explanations, every guy she dated was a tourist and she doesn’t speak English, so yes i think i found a gringo hunter. Tell me i am wrong and i heaven’t seen anything nice that you wrote.
Doesn’t sound like you’re dating, sounds like you’ve met someone that doesn’t treat you very well. No one deserves that, good luck with finding someone who is a better fit!
In your personal opinion do you think she only wanted me for papers? because now when i wanted to visit her in mexico she cut off all contact with me, a week ago, and i tried calling her and writing but i get no response.
You actually make it appear really easy with your presentation however I find this matter to be actually something that I think I might never understand.
It kind of feels too complex and very extensive for me.
I am taking a look forward to your subsequent put up, I will attempt to get the hold of it!
Amazing article, Thanks for sharing!
I’m a gringo happily married to a Latina for over 20 years. Stephanie is right on point.
Many Latina women would make a great wife.
Stephani
I sincerely enjoyed reading this article. I have for some time been curious as to how Latinas or Ticas (which term is the most preferred by the way)? view relationships. Much of my research up to this point led me to the belief that relationships for them are anything but shallow, and your article reinforces much of what I have read. I am led to believe a very high percentage of Latinas truly feel that a relationship means true companionship and the desire to walk life’s path together. While I realize that there are always exceptions, would you say that the vast majority feel this way? For me, this is what a relationship truly means. Unfortunately, in this day and age this way of approaching relationships seems to be so very hard to find.
Thanks for reading! I think there are a lot of factors that influence as individuals, and I don’t think it’s fair to swipe everyone under an umbrella. I would say that traditionally, in my experience, most Latina/Latino homes are raised to be “family-first” mentality and therefore companionship and desire to walk life’s path together is something that has been in my norm. How/why/if this is true for most Latinas, I wouldn’t know, but this has been true with most that I’ve met.
¡Hola, amiga! I loved this article, because it’s quite accurate to a very high degree. I’m Puerto Rican (from the island, where I lived most of my life and did most of my college and then graduated in Texas, where I’ll begin advanced degrees), and so much of this explains with accuracy why my ten year marriage (eleven together) has been so successful. Every other couple my hubs and I know where both parties are heterosexual Anglo-Saxons are all now divorce (and most also divorced in bad terms). Even as a neuro-diverse Latina who had massive struggles with a lot of societal things growing up, I watched and learned from my older female relatives (especially my dad’s aunts, who are the ultimate epitome of Latina femininity and grace)…and it paid off at the end of the day. So many of my husband’s friends are so amazed that we managed to stay together this long, but I don’t see the mystery: I cater to him to the best of my ability, and in return he gives me the universe. It’s bliss. Those gr1ng4s just don’t get it. Modern day feminism failed them.
As someone who married a Latina, this is pretty good advice. I especially like the bit about being willing to speak up. I would maybe add, and I guess this could just be a Colombiana thing, but I would think not, family is extremely important.
Nice article. Although I think many latinas struggle between being cocky and actually thinking they know better, something egotistical white people are guilty of as well. It’s perhaps why me and my Latina lover are so passionate towards each other.
It is very hard today just to meet a good woman let alone to be with a latina one.
Your blog has a unique ability to ignite a spark of motivation within me.
I am very curious as to why people have a hard time guessing or noticing our ethnicity? I have had pretty much everyone I’ve met either ask me or guess and NEVER guess Hispanic ! Like what!? Like why??